I'm feeling great and still loving whenever the baby decides to kick/punch/swim/cartwheel inside me. Sometimes, when the sciatica isn't acting up and my chest isn't tingling with heartburn, I almost - *almost* - forget that I am pregnant! I'm starting to have a hard time with the weight gain and it's gross to see the numbers creeping up to 150, 151 pounds. I realize how ridiculous that sounds. I don't think women can escape the message we get constantly about being slim and not gaining weight, even when we are pregnant! Ok, I'll speak for myself. It's been hard. I didn't think I'd have a hard time with it - thought I'd really enjoy gaining weight - but I don't enjoy seeing my cheeks and butt get pregnant, too.
Luckily I have a husband who gets crazy when I complain about weight gain. On his end, it's absolutely beautiful and scrumptious to see me grow like this. But, my brain often goes right to the place of comparing myself with other pregnant women, and why does it seem like they're only gaining on their bellies when I'm gaining everywhere else! My latest least-favorite thought is, "why am I bigger than women who are expecting twins!?"
As a coach, I realize it's even more stupid to think this. I know this is a brilliant Saboteur poking me on my shoulder. The only thing that really gets rid of that Saboteur is when the baby moves. It's so sweet and weird and wild and nourishing and reassuring when I see my belly wave back and forth with the Little One's movements. It is absolutely the best part of being pregnant...and kicks that Saboteur right in the face.
While taking belly shots is fun for Rosh and me - especially the thought of sharing these pictures with the Little One whenever she's ready to see them - there's something gross about people demanding to see belly shots and asking for them to be posted on Facebook, etc. It's not all gross, but there's something gross. Like now there's a whole body image movement around the Pregnant Woman, and there's emerging a certain "look" or "carrying" to which we all should be aspiring. There's comparison inherent in it. It's the same old thing, just version 2.0 for pregnant mommies. At the same time, there's something precious about sharing the growth of it, too. Very much so. I love when Rosh posts the pictures, knowing that my parents, sister, and in-laws will likely look at them. I like to share it with close friends (especially when they're going through the same thing - Hi, Sharon & Sally!). And I like to see for myself (just yesterday I looked back at Week 9 and was shocked at how thin I was; good luck to me getting that body back in a few months! ;)
Symptoms: buzzing/vibrating in chest
